Girl Code
by Brii-Chan14
Summary: Listen to the ladies of DBZ tell you the rules of being a girl. Based off of the hilarious show Girl Code on MTV


Okay haven't done a funny one shot sooo here yall go! Based off the MTV tv series girl code. I might do a guy code version depending on the reviews I get.

Also a belated bday gift to Heroes Reprise! Love ya chica!

* * *

"Is the f****** camera on..." Eighteen questioned, starting directly into the camera.

"Uh yes..." the camera man answered in a timid tone.

"Um well this show is suppose to be teaching woman and young girls what's the rules of girl code, well my rule is, don't be basic. The world is burger king and you better have it your f****** way. Take it from me, I'm twenty-seven years old, I've killed my father and a bunch of other people. So ladies, the answer to your problems is to kill them."

...

**"Periods"**

A smiling brunette sat in front of the camera, giggling. "Periods... hmmm lets see. I got my period when I was eleven and thought I was dieing. My mother died when I was young so I had no one else to talk to but my father. When I told him, he fainted. When he finally woke up he said 'Chichi, these next few days will be the most painful days of your life.' And he was right.

...

The blunnette Bulma Briefs flipped her hair and scoffed. "I despise periods, like what's a bigger cock block than periods. And I say that because I got mines when I was thirteen when I was hooking up with this ninth grader. He ran away like I had aids. And filled a retaining order."

...

"Girls, my name is Launch and I'm here to tell you about periods. When a mommy and daddy love each other than you get pregnant and die." The dark purple hair woman announced.

"Um, Lauch I think you have th-"

Before the camera man could finish, Launch sneezed. Instantly her hair turned to a beach blonde. She went from the smiling friendly girl to a frowning blonde.

"The f***, how did I get here!" Launch shouted. She didn't let anyone answer, instead pulled two pistols from her back pocket and began aimlessly shooting

...

"Periods are obnoxious little b******. I got mines at the age of fourteen which was the most embarrassing day of my life because I was at the beach in my new white bikini." Maron ranted. "To all you young girls who haven't started, enjoy being a little girl while you can."

...

"I don't remember when I started my period, mainly because I don't remember anything before my father reprogrammed me, but he did inform me that once a month I would bleed for five days straight and would be an emotional reck... That explains why I killed him as well." Eighteen informed casually.

...

"Call 911 this b**** is crazy!"

Launch aimed her gun right for the camera, cracking the lens.

...

"The girl code to periods is, this is your only week to be a bitch to everyone so don't hold any anger back. If your mad at a girl, just punch her in the face when you're on your period. She'll be like, 'omg what was that for!' And then you'll say, 'Sorry I'm on my period'" Bulma finished.

...

"I say, you shouldn't be extremely bitchy and just eat all you want, and fart, and cry." Chichi said bluntly. "This is the only time of the month you have an excuse to be a fat disgusting pig without anyone judging you."

...

**"Babies"**

"Babies are cute but I could never have one. This p**** going to stay tight." Marron argued. "Plus all they do is s***, cry, eat, s***, sleep. Sometimes they do all of that at the same time, and hashtag ain't nobody got time for that! " Maron said while laughing.

..

The now purple haired Launch sat in her chair in handcuffs, she didn't mind at all and began cheerfully talking about babies. "Me and my boyfriend are thinking about having babies. They're so f****** adorable I just want to play guns with them and pinch their cheekies off. But he's worried about having kids with me, he says I have split personalities. "

..

"I have a beautiful son, he's four and I love him from the moon and back. It felt like hell as I was pushing him out my vagina. He was f****** huge! 11 pounds! Damn saiyan babies, my vagina will never be the same." Chichi sighed.

#ripchichisvag

...

"I have a little boy, and surprisingly he didn't come out as big as Chi's beast- I mean son. Though I had him when I was seven months along. You should have seen the look on the doctors' face when they saw his tail." Bulma laughed.

...

"I have a normal little girl who didn't destroy my vagina. She didn't come out with extra limbs or tails. She's 18 months and it won't be long before she starts acting like me." The blonde said.

..

"Unless you want a f****** up vagina don't have kids. All your money and time goes to those brat, you gain so much weight, and your man is probably going to leave you. That's girl code." Maron responded sternly.

...

Chichi tolled her eyes as the camera came onto her. "Don't listen to that salty bitch Maron. Babies are a blessing and you should only have them when your ready to and with the right man. Also don't have babies by multiple men, that's just skanky.

...

**"Boyfriends"**

Bulma smiled brightly at the camera and flipped her blonde locks. "My child's father and I were off and on but now were together." She held her hand and moved it closer to the camera, showed off her large diamond ring. " He put a ring on it two weeks ago... well I bought it because he's not from earth and his people never proposed like we do, but I know he loves me. Did I mention he's a prince."

...

"Well me and the love of my life are broken up right now, but it's all good, we'll get back together eventual- ACHOO!" Lauch's wild indigo curls turned to blonde once again. " F*** that b****! When his busted bald headed a** needs some a** then I'ma be the first b**** he call, this time I'ma kill his a** and his side chick!"

...

"I'm single as a dollar bill! But I hook up with a few guys here and there... That's only if he get money and has tons of swag!" Maron laughed. "I don't plan on getting married because, I don't need some dude trying to keep me down, I'm a strong independent bad b****. Girl code, getting married means doing whatever your man say; don't do it ladies.

...

"My Goku promised to marry me when I was just a little girl. He left for a few years but I tracked his ass down. He was at this martial arts tournament and I put him on blast mode and in the end, I got my way. We got married on that same day. Girl code for getting married ia don't have sex until your married, and if a guy promises to marry you but doesn't, cut his d*** off and feed it to him." Chichi said in a gently tone.


End file.
